Dreamscape
by Sarin-sama
Summary: All of Natsume's dreams were either nightmares of his past, or memories from any nearby Ayakashi that happened to be feeling some sort of extreme emotion. He'd never had another type of dream..at least, until now he figured. He was dreaming about school, except, he wasn't in his own classroom – rather, he was in Tanuma's. (Now a twoshot lol) Rated F for Fluffiness. NatsumeXTanuma
1. Part I

Disclaimer: I do not own Natsume Yuujincho.

Rating: F for Fluffiness

**Dreamscape**

"It's really raining hard now…" Natsume said as he stared out into the dark night. The clouds had been dark all day, and it looked like they had finally gotten tired of holding it all in. Torrents of rain were plunging down from the horribly dark sky. Thunder rumbled somewhere over the mountains, and Natsume was glad that they hadn't gotten any lightning in the area yet.

Tanuma came up beside him and stared out from the open front door as well, "Hmm – and it doesn't look like it'll let up anytime soon."

Natsume frowned to himself. The Fujiwara's didn't have a car either…if he was going to make it home, there was no other option than to run as fast as he could in the rain. He was wondering if Tanuma had an umbrella he could borrow when Tanuma spoke up with a better idea, "Well, it's not a problem if you stay the night here. I'm sure Touko-san won't mind since it's not a school night or anything."

"Are you sure?" Natsume asked, "I've been here since lunch getting help with my math homework – I don't want to bother you…"

Tanuma gave a small laugh, "You're not a bother – and besides, I wouldn't mind the company. My father won't be back until tomorrow morning, and I don't like having the house all to myself."

Natsume nodded, slightly relieved that he wouldn't have to run home in such bad weather, "Alright – I'll cal Touko-san then."

Tanuma showed him to his father's office where the phone was and left him to make his call while he went to set up an extra futon in his room.

The blonde finally got a hold of Touko-san, who understood the situation and sounded quite relived that Natsume wouldn't be attempting to get home in such bad weather. She told him to thank Kaname-kun for her, and they both hung up.

As both boys had been tiring out their brains on math homework all day, they'd decided to just head straight to bed after throwing together some leftovers for dinner. With the lulling sounds of rain pattering down on the roof as they lay in their adjacent futons, and the soft cries of the wind causing the trees to shake and rustle, they were asleep within minutes of lying down.

* * *

Natsume was dreaming. _But this is strange, _he thought. All of Natsume's dreams were either nightmares of his past, or memories from any nearby Ayakashi that happened to be feeling some sort of extreme emotion. He'd never had another type of dream…at least, until now, he figured.

He was dreaming about school, except, he wasn't in his own classroom – rather, he was in Tanuma's.

_Why am I here?_

Natsume tried to look around, but strangely everything was pitch black. The only thing visible in all of the darkness was a spotlight where Tanuma sat almost boredly at his desk, and another spotlight focused on the opened classroom door. Natsume felt an odd focusing on Tanuma and suddenly got a very bad feeling.

The bad feeling seemed to be proven right when a new figure appeared in the open doorway.

It was himself – a second Natsume was standing in the doorway with his back facing the room.

_Was this…Tanuma's dream?_

Was that even possible? Natsume had only ever shared dreams with Ayakashi, and those hadn't really been dream but rather memories that had seeped into Natsume's mind while he slept near an Ayakashi – he didn't think it was even possible to slip into other people's dreams…

_What in the world was going on? _ The real Natsume wondered.

"Natsume?" Tanuma's slightly faded voice spoke out.

Natsume turned to look at his seated friend, but realized that he wasn't the Natsume that was being addressed. Tanuma was calling out to the figure in the doorway – the Dream-Natsume.

As if in response to the boy's voice, the Dream-Natsume suddenly started running away. Tanuma quickly got out of his seat and ran towards the door, the spotlight staying stuck on him as he traveled through the darkness after Dream-Natsume, with more of the classroom appearing around him as he ran.

_This is bad_, the real Natsume thought to himself, _it's wrong on so many levels to see someone else's dreams…I really shouldn't be seeing this._ Natsume tried to force himself awake, but found that instead, his body was automatically moving to keep pace with Tanuma as he ran after the fleeing Dream-Natsume. No matter how hard he tried, Natsume could neither deviate from Tanuma's side nor wake himself up. He realized that since this was Tanuma's dream, he had no choice but to tag along.

Tanuma called for Dream-Natsume to wait, but the blonde just kept running. Suddenly, Dream-Natsume disappeared, and Tanuma stopped. Tanuma spun around in time to see a tall and gangly shadow creature emerge from the darkness and descend upon the Dream-Natsume who had somehow magically appeared a few yards away from Tanuma.

Immediately, Natsume realized that this was Tanuma's mental image of a Youkai…_This must be how he imagines them, since he's not seen them before._ Natsume thought for a minute and realized that Tanuma actually _had_ seen one once – back when he'd been possessed by an Ayakashi who had lost its special mirror. That Ayakashi had let Tanuma see a different one that was also seeking the shattered mirror. Natsume realized that this dream-Ayakashi closely resembled the other one – though this one was much larger and more frightening.

The shadow Ayakashi suddenly materialized a large mouth with a full set of very sharp and devilish-looking teeth. The shadowy Ayakashi was about to attack Dream-Natsume, but Tanuma leapt in front of the fallen blonde. For some reason, the attacking Youkai disappeared and Tanuma turned towards his fallen dream friend. He offered a hand to help Dream-Natsume back to his feet, and they both took off running again, with their hands still clasped.

The real Natsume was starting to feel more uneasiness settle in his mind. He knew he really shouldn't be seeing Tanuma's dream, but could find no way to escape. His body was being dragged along after the running duo as they sprinted down stairs and towards the school's exit.

When the two plus the third wheel, who was being dragged along against his will, made it outside, they were immediately transported to the nearby children's playground instead of the school's main entrance. Tanuma and Dream-Natsume were now stopped and catching their breath. Tanuma straightened up from his hunched, panting position and turned to Dream-Natsume.

The real Natsume could only hear the vague syllables of speech, but he figured they were going through the usual _Are you okay?_'s and such. The two were strangely still holding hands. Tanuma looked down and noticed it, but just stared for a moment with a very serious look settled onto his face, as if he were pondering something very deeply.

Dream-Natsume didn't seem to have any reaction to the fact that they were still holding hands – in fact, Dream-Natsume almost seemed to be encouraging it. He pulled on Tanuma's arm, dragging him closer so that they were almost uncomfortably close.

The real Natsume watched from a distance, lost in confusion.

What was his dream-self doing?

The look on Tanuma's face suggested that he was a little shocked at something, but Natsume had no idea what. Dream-Natsume seemed to be leaning in closer, and pulling Tanuma by the hand so that he did the same.

_Is my dream-self telling him a secret?_ The real Natsume wondered vaguely.

And then the distance between Tanuma's and Dream-Natsume's faces closed.

The real Natsume's jaw dropped in shock.

They were kissing. Tanuma and the dream version of Natsume were kissing.

And neither party seemed to be all that uneasy about it. Dream-Natsume finally let go of Tanuma's hand and wrapped his arms around Tanuma's neck. Tanuma reacted by placing one hand on Dream-Natsume's cheek and the other reaching around to Natsume's lower back. Their lips never parted, and their kiss went on for a good few minutes.

In the meantime, the real Natsume could do nothing but stare on in both shock and confusion. But before he could really register what he was feeling at the exact moment, a bright light flashed and everything disappeared.

* * *

Natsume's eyes snapped open, finally waking from the dream, but he wasn't the only one. He heard Tanuma gasp lightly as he woke up, but as Natsume had been sleeping on his side and turned away from the black-haired boy, he couldn't see him.

Natsume was glad he was turned away from his friend, because he was pretty sure that his cheeks were blushing bright enough to even be seen in the dark. He had no idea how in the world he was mentally supposed to react to seeing himself kiss Tanuma in a dream, but his body sure wasn't sharing that problem. His heart was beating faster than was normal, his cheeks were warm with what he was sure was a violent blush, and his breathing was uneven. The blonde closed his eyes, attempted to calm himself down, and pretended that he was still sleeping. He listened very closely to Tanuma's movements, in some sort of attempt at figuring out what Tanuma's reaction to the dream would be.

The boy, who was lying down just a foot or two away from Natsume, was breathing almost in pants. Natsume heard his friend moving around a bit, and it sounded like he sat up.

The blonde wasn't sure what he was listening for. An explanation, maybe? A reason for why Tanuma had been kissing him in his dream…

Natsume listened carefully. Maybe the black-haired boy would say something like "What a weird nightmare". The blonde felt an odd pang in his stomach at that thought, but realized that the dream couldn't have been a nightmare. Natsume knew all about nightmares, and that didn't feel like one. The overall feeling of the dream had been a good one despite the frantic running from the Ayakashi in the beginning. Even with the scary Youkai making an appearance and trying to attack the Dream-Natsume, the dream hadn't had a nightmareish feel to it.

And besides…wouldn't kissing someone – even if it was only in a dream – mean that you liked them in a way that suggested you wanted to kiss them in real life? Natsume hadn't ever had a dream like that – Natsume didn't put much thought into having a romantic relationship due to his involvement with the Ayakashi and the fact that he'd have to lie to whoever he was dating – but he was pretty sure that you would have to like a person at least somewhat romantically in order to dream about kissing them…

Suddenly Tanuma let out a strange sound that resembled both a sigh and a small laugh. Natsume heard him rustling around in his blankets and suddenly felt Tanuma's eyes on him. The back of his neck prickled as Tanuma broke the silence of the room with a faint asking whisper, "Natsume?"

_What was he doing?_ Natsume thought frantically. _Did he somehow know that I'd seen his dream?_

_No, no_ – Natsume thought to quell his panic – _it sounds more like he's checking to see how deeply asleep I am._

Natsume decided that this was what Tanuma was doing, so he decided that he'd keep quiet and pretend to be asleep.

"Natsume?" Tanuma asked a little louder, but still in a hushed tone, "Are you awake?"

The blonde kept quiet and forced his face to relax into what he thought was a natural sleeping-face. He didn't quite understand what he was trying to accomplish by not answering when he was so widely awake, but Natsume felt it was necessary to keep quiet.

Tanuma didn't ask again, presumably satisfied that the blonde to his side was deeply asleep.

Natsume heard Tanuma rustling around in his blankets again, and at first thought he was lying back down to go back to sleep. But then he heard a muffled thud as something hit the bare wooden floor. The blonde could somehow feel Tanuma's presence getting closer, and he knew that he needed to keep up his sleeping façade.

He didn't dare open his eyes, but Natsume could feel Tanuma's presence as he knelt down at the edge of Natsume's borrowed futon – the thud had probably been Tanuma's knee hitting the small strip of floor that separated the two makeshift beds from each other.

The blonde kept perfectly still except for the rhythmic rising and falling of his chest with calm and quiet breaths, and fought off the temptation to open his eyes to see what Tanuma was doing and why he was coming over here.

A small chill ran down his spine as Natsume thought of something…

_What if Tanuma was going to kiss me?_

_Would he do that? Just because it happened in his dream, it didn't mean he would try it in real life, right?_

_But what if he does? What should I do? Should I just stay still? Should I –_ but Natsume's thought got cut off.

Something warm touched his cheek. Fingertips grazed the side of his face and slid up his temple and into his hair. Natsume felt Tanuma's hand gently take a lock of his blonde hair between his fingers and twist it carefully around one of his digits. Tanuma let the lock of hair fall back into place with the rest of Natsume's blonde head of sleep-messy hair.

Natsume could feel Tanuma's hand hovering over his own, as he had it resting on his side and hanging slightly over his stomach while pretending to sleep. Thunder roared outside, causing Tanuma to instinctively pull his hand away. Natsume suppressed a flinch at the sudden sound that broke him away from panicked thoughts about what Tanuma was doing to the blonde while he was supposedly asleep.

Tanuma was quiet for a few moments. Natsume could feel the black-haired boy's eyes just staring at his back in thought, causing the back of Natsume's neck to tingle again at the feeling of being watched so intently.

"What am I doing?..." Tanuma quietly whispered to himself.

Natsume could picture Tanuma shaking his head, and listened as the black-haired boy headed back to his own futon and pulled his blankets back on.

The blonde lay there quietly, finally daring to open his eyes now that Tanuma wouldn't be able to see his face. He felt odd…his stomach was twisted into knots and his heart felt strangely let down, as if it had been excited for some reason…

Natsume's face paled as he realized the cause for that strange discontent…it was like he was disappointed that Tanuma hadn't actually kissed him.

_What the heck?! _Natsume silently scolded himself, _Why…why would I want Tanuma to kiss me of all things? What was wrong with me? He's just my friend – I…I don't think of him like that._

_But _ HE _might, _ a small voice in Natsume's head whispered to his consciousness, _If the dream meant anything, then Tanuma probably thinks of you as more than a simple friend…and he didn't just caress your face so tenderly for no reason._

Natsume shook the small voice away. He didn't know what to think, but he really didn't want to dwell on Tanuma's dream, or why he even saw it. For one, it was a terrible invasion of Tanuma's privacy, and secondly, when Natsume thought back to it, his stomach felt fluttery and twisted.

What was that feeling? Knowing that his best friend had just dreamed of kissing him…what would be a reasonable reaction to that? It might be normal to feel nervous or uncomfortable – especially seeing as they were both guys, neither of which had ever claimed to be gay – but Natsume didn't feel either of those. Strangely, he wasn't weirded out by it, or even that uncomfortable with it. He guessed that this might be the Ayakashi's lax view of gender rubbing off on him, and reasoned that his adopted view from the many Youkai who couldn't distinguish gender very well was why Tanuma's suggested feeling didn't bother him.

No – instead of those two normal reactions, Natsume found himself worrying. He realized he was worrying that he might see Tanuma differently now, knowing that the black-haired boy had a much more intimate view of him rather than a purely platonic one. Natsume worried that he'd start treating Tanuma differently, or keeping him at an arm's length. But most of all, Natsume worried that he would hurt Tanuma…

What if Tanuma decided to tell him, and Natsume couldn't answer? What if he hurt Tanuma's heart by not being able to reciprocate his feelings?

Natsume had never been keen on having a relationship – had never really cared about falling in love. He was too concerned with the problems he had now and the pessimistic thought that he'd probably never find someone who could understand all of the trouble and hurt he's experienced because of his ability to see the Ayakashi.

The small voice nagged at his consciousness, _Tanuma does… and what he doesn't_ _already_ _understand about you, he wants to. Doesn't he keep telling you that it's okay to tell him anything?_

The thought stilled his mind, worries and all. The small voice had been right…Tanuma did understand him – sometimes better than he did himself. While Natsume wasn't sure how he felt about Tanuma's dream or his strange reactions to the thought that Tanuma was going to kiss him for real, he did know that he was closer to Tanuma than anyone else. It may have been because Tanuma was the very first person that Natsume had ever told about his ability and the Ayakashi, but he and Tanuma shared a special closeness that the blonde couldn't define. It was much different from his friendships with Nishimura, Kitamoto, and even Taki, who also knew of his secret, but it was hard to describe how.

Natsume didn't understand it – just like he realized he didn't understand a lot of things concerning his black-haired friend – but he felt that it was good. It was something he'd never had until he came to this town. A closeness he'd never been able to find in his life of being shuffled around from relative to relative, and school to school.

Natsume suddenly rolled onto his back and stared up at the ceiling, forgetting that he was supposed to be feigning sleep. He scolded himself for the careless move and decided to act like he had just woken up. Natsume rubbed at his eyes and let out a barely audible groan.

"Ah – Natsume," Tanuma said in a hushed voice, "You're awake…"

Natsume could hear what he was sure was a nervous waver in Tanuma's quiet voice, and turned to face the boy sleeping a mere few feet away from him. The dark-haired boy's eyes gave off a little shine in the small amount of light that managed to seep in from the window, despite it being a dark, rainy night. Natsume gave his nervous friend a smile – nervous presumably because he was worried that Natsume had woken up when he'd touched Natsume's cheek. "Must have been the storm," Natsume said lightly, matching the volume of his voice to Tanuma's hushed whisper.

Natsume wondered if he should tell Tanuma that he'd accidentally seen his dream – but decided against it for a few different reasons. The most obvious would be the fact that it was embarrassing for both parties. The other prominent reason was Natsume's feeling that Tanuma wasn't really ready to tell Natsume about how he felt. If the dream meant anything – and Natsume was having a hard time believing that it didn't – Tanuma needed to be the one to bring up the subject of his own heart. Springing the subject on him in the middle of the night probably wasn't the smartest move.

Natsume decided to leave it be. He would continue on like he hadn't seen what were probably Tanuma's most personal thoughts presented in dream-form, while attempting to figure out and understand his own strange feelings towards his friend.

He could always tell Tanuma about the dream later on, farther down the road.

"Yeah," Tanuma answered, sounding a little more relieved and relaxed, "That must have been it."

* * *

A/N: Hope you liked it, despite it probably being impossible for Natsume to share the dreams of another human (I thought it was a cute idea tho hehe). Anywho~ I really love them.

Please feel free to point out any mistakes I've made, or anything that seems like it was awkwardly worded. People tell me that i get too wordy sometimes, so if you notice it and think it's disruptive towards the story, don't hesitate to tell me so :) I even tolerate flames if you think they're necessary lol

**Thanks for Reading!**


	2. Part II

Well a few of you asked me to continue this and here's my answer. I had some troubles with it so if it's not very good or if it's too OOC (which i personally don't think it is as i'll explain a bit afterwards) then feel free to ignore this additional part and let the first chapter be the One Shot that it was intended to be lol

Rating: F for fluffiness

Disclaimer: I do not own Natsume Yuujincho. I am not worthy.

* * *

**Dreamscape**

Part II

The crickets were playing their nightly ballad, filling the dark forest with something soothing as if to make sure that the shadows stayed peacefully in place. Natsume hoped that this was the case, anyways, because he really didn't want anything that went bump in the night to come looking for trouble while he was supposed to be enjoying a camping trip with his friends.

Nishimura had been pestering Natsume for a good two weeks about going on a camping trip during the summer break that was coming up. The blonde knew that it would probably be a bad idea – especially since Youkai seemed to be naturally drawn to him and camping would just be him coming to them for once – but two weeks of nagging had been annoying. Even Kitamoto had tried to convince him to come – though his argument was that he didn't want to be the only responsible one there to be in charge of Nishimura.

So Natsume had given in and now they were on their camping trip.

He could hear loud snores joining in with the crickets' song coming from the tent they had all crammed into. It was a wonder anyone could get any sleep with Nishimura snoring like that. Natsume had tried to fall asleep, but there were a couple factors hindering that intention, besides the snoring of course.

The first of which was the close quarters that they were all trying to share. The tent was really only meant for two people and some wiggle room – and on a warm night like this one, cramming four large bodies into it and expecting there to be enough room was pushing it.

Yes – that was the other reason Natsume couldn't sleep. He might have been able to get peacefully through the night if it had just been Kitamoto, Nishimura and himself, but Tanuma was also here. And lately his black-haired friend had been the cause of a lot of nights spent in thought instead of sleep.

So to put some distance between himself and the factors keeping him from rest, Natsume had picked up his sleeping bag and as quietly as possible unzipped the opening of the tent. They'd set up camp in a small grassy clearing a little ways away from a quiet stream. Nishimura said that this was a place his family would come sometimes for fishing trips and little vacations from civilization. Natsume laid out his sleeping bag on the other side of their spent campfire and lay down on his back with his arms folded behind his head. He stared up at the stars, which were completely visible in the darkness of the wilderness.

He thought back to the night he'd accidentally slipped into Tanuma's dream and saw a dream-version of himself kissing Tanuma. It had been about two months since then, and something had changed. Natsume wasn't sure if Tanuma could feel it, but he could. Even though there had always been a difference in their relationship compared to Natsume's other friendships, now there was something else added onto it. Something he could only describe as "Other". It wasn't a bad something, but whatever it was, it made Natsume much more aware of his black-haired friend.

After witnessing that dream kiss, it had become hard to convince himself that Tanuma didn't have any romantic feelings for the blonde, especially once Natsume started to see other signs as well. They were all small things – things Natsume never noticed until now…and now he couldn't help but notice. A slight hesitation before a gentle touch on the arm or shoulder, the way Tanuma fought so hard to prove himself capable of helping Natsume and being by his side during his troubles with the Ayakashi – it was all very visible to him now, but the only part that actually bothered Natsume at all was not being able to understand Tanuma's feelings. What kind of friend was he if he couldn't understand the feelings of the person closest to him?

Tanuma always seemed to know exactly how Natsume was feeling, but here he couldn't do the same. Natsume had no idea what it meant to want to kiss someone, or how it felt to love someone in a romantic way. He understood the love for your friends and the love for your family, but the way that Tanuma undoubtedly felt about Natsume? What kind of a feeling was that? How does someone know that they have it? Is it a distinct feeling, or can it blend in and camouflage itself amongst others?

_How would I know if I ever felt that way for someone?_ Natsume wondered. He stared upwards, just drinking in the billions of glowing dots that penetrated the dark abyss of the sky. Slowly his mind started to empty of all his complicated and worrisome thoughts and Natsume was left to exist in peace beneath the stars.

The sky stretched out above him made him feel inexplicably small, but wasn't that how everyone felt when looking at something as vast and endless as the starry sky? The feeling of being small was comforting to Natsume – it meant he was normal, at least in one area. It meant he was undeniably human, even though sometimes he thought that the world of the Ayakashi would consume him and spirit him away into itself.

He smiled in spite of his previous thought. It had always been a fear of his that one day he would just disappear from the human world all together, and there would be no reason for him to find a way back.

"I have that now," he said solemnly to the sky, as if it had asked a question, "Reasons I can't disappear."

"That's good to know…" A quiet voice spoke from Natsume's right.

The sudden voice was enough to startle Natsume into an upright position. He threw his torso up and his legs readied themselves to spring to his feet, even though he recognized the voice and knew that there was no reason to be so flighty.

_A side effect of subconsciously expecting a Youkai to pop up anytime I'm relaxed_, Natsume thought to himself.

"Tanuma…" Natsume said as he turned his head to face his friend.

The starlight wasn't enough to see his friend's face, but his voice had an apologetic smile in it, "Didn't mean to startle you."

Natsume shook his head, "That's alright…I was a little too deep into my thoughts." He had been so enveloped in his thoughts that he hadn't heard Tanuma disturb the night's stillness as he'd done only fifteen or twenty minutes ago. Natsume was relieved that it was Tanuma who had snuck up on him instead of some malicious spirit.

"You couldn't sleep either?" Tanuma asked as he started forward. He came and sat down in the grass beside Natsume's sleeping bag. He leaned back on his arms and stared upwards as Natsume had been doing before getting startled.

Natsume laughed quietly, "Nishimura's a very loud sleeper…and it's really nice out at the moment. Sorry if I woke you when I left."

"You didn't," Tanuma replied, "Kitamoto rolled on top of me in his sleep and woke me up. You were gone and I thought that…well, I was just needlessly worrying." He sighed and kept his face turned up at the night sky.

Natsume smiled lightly and lay back down, though this time he let his arms stay at his sides instead of using them as a pillow. Tanuma gave a quick glance down at the blonde and mirrored his position, only he settled with his hands on his stomach.

Silence fell on the two boys. It was very heavy and strained, completely unlike the silences that often popped up between them. Usually they were comfortable, a silence that was natural and soothing for the two quiet friends, whereas this one gave off a feeling of something that needed to be said. Something that was lingering between them but wouldn't reveal itself.

Natsume searched for something to say, but he felt that if he were to bring up small talk here and now, the lingering weight would never be revealed and things would stay stuck like they have been forever.

"What did you mean," Tanuma started cautiously, "Just now when you were talking – about not disappearing?" His voice sounded unsure – as if he were worried about how Natsume would react to his question.

Natsume blinked up at the sky and took a large breath. "Just that I'm not afraid of letting myself disappear anymore…I used to be scared that something would happen to me and I wouldn't want to fight to escape because there was no reason to. That there'd be no one who would want me to come back. That I'd just let the monsters take me away and I'd disappear from the world forever…but now I have reasons to come back. The Fujiwara's, all my friends…you – all reasons why I won't let myself disappear."

There was a small hesitation before Tanuma spoke, "And you…you don't count me in the all your friends category?"

Natsume turned his head to face Tanuma, but the black-haired boy kept his gaze on the star speckled ceiling. "I do, but you're also something different to me…something more, something…other," Natsume said using his earlier description of the strange relationship they shared. "I don't understand it very well, but that's what it feels like." Natsume sighed loudly and faced the sky once again, "I'm starting to realize that I still have a lot that I don't understand about people and relationships."

Natsume heard Tanuma's head rustle as it turned towards the blonde. He didn't say anything but Natsume could hear the question in his silence.

Natsume suddenly found words coming to his lips that he hadn't wanted to say. _Why is it that Tanuma can always get me to say the things that I try to keep to myself?_

Natsume didn't get an answer, but instead let the words leave his lips. "What does it mean to be in love with someone? How is it different from the love you feel for your friends or family? It's been bothering me for a while now..."

The blonde could almost feel Tanuma freeze up beside him. There was a sudden chill in the air that soon vanished.

Tanuma gave a small cough to kick-start his frozen voice, "Well I guess…love…umm." Even with his voice thawed out, it meant nothing if he didn't know what to say.

Natsume smiled sadly up at the stars, "Sorry. It's alright – you don't have to answer…it's probably not something I should ask others."

"No," Tanuma managed, "It's just hard to explain I guess. It might not be the same for everyone but…to me it's like something that takes control of all your thoughts and all your emotions. It causes a lot of conflictions like wanting that person to be happy, but at the same time wanting to do something that you know would make them unhappy. It's where you think of that person even before yourself." He paused for a minute in thought and then continued. "It's a feeling that can make you so happy that you feel your heart will burst or so sad that you want to just hide forever – but even when it hurts it's still something you don't want to let go of. That you can't let go of even if you wanted to…it's something that ties you to that person and makes you want to stay with them forever – to want to hold them close to you so that you know that everything is real…well, that might not make much sense but that's kinda what it feels like."

Natsume's eyes stung as he looked upwards. He was no longer focusing on the stars, but rather Tanuma's words that played over in his head. "Is that really how yo – how it feels? It sounds…painful."

"It can be…though not always."

Natsume's chest hurt. Was that how he was making Tanuma feel? Was he making the person who was closest to him hurt? Why?

_Why do I deserve to be thought of that way? What did I do to earn such a powerful type of love from someone who I always manage to put in danger? How is it okay for me to make him feel so internally conflicted and hurt?_

_What can I do to make it less painful?_

That last question made Natsume's thoughts come to a screeching halt because there was only one real answer to it. A thought that he'd been overlooking and maybe purposefully not bringing up.

The only way for Natsume to make it so that Tanuma no longer felt pain because of his feelings for the blonde, was for Natsume to love him back.

_Is that even possible for me? Am I capable of feeling something that powerful for someone?_

Natsume tried to clear his head and brought up everything on how he felt about his black-haired friend.

He knew that he worried the most about Tanuma and that he wished he could protect him from the dangerous world to which he belonged, but at the same time he was very happy to know that he could always come to Tanuma for help if he needed it. Just knowing that Tanuma understood him in a way that no one else really could made Natsume feel incredibly calm and happy. Natsume knew that they shared a special closeness that defied reason sometimes – like how they could tell when the other was lying about something. And even though there had been a change recently due to Natsume finally being able to see Tanuma's true feelings, the undefined "Otherness" had really only brought Natsume closer to Tanuma rather than distance him.

Natsume knew that he thought of Tanuma more than was probably normal for a regular friendship. He knew that just hanging out and talking with Tanuma made him smile – real smiles, not just his forced ones. He knew that without Tanuma, the progress he's made in the past year in coming to understand and relate to others wouldn't have happened. Natsume knew that without Tanuma, there would still be a large trench in his soul that Tanuma had somehow managed to fill…

Was that enough?

The blonde realized that what he felt for his friend might not be considered love on the same level as what Tanuma described, but could it be enough to start it? Was it okay to start with something like this and let it change step by step into something more? Because as Natsume thought about it, he decided that he wanted to love Tanuma. Natsume didn't want Tanuma to be hurt anymore by his own ignorance. He wanted his friend to be happy, and to feel all the good things that his description of love had to offer.

He wanted to love Tanuma because maybe by loving him, Tanuma wouldn't have to feel the negative effects of love on his own. Natsume could share the painful parts – share the burden, just as Tanuma was now sharing Natsume's burden. Maybe he could do for Tanuma what Tanuma had done for him. Tanuma was the first human he told his secrets to that actually believed him – but it was so much more to it than just being believed. Tanuma supported and fought for him, struggling to do as much as he could for Natsume even though Natsume had been so distant at first.

Natsume wanted to love Tanuma because maybe it could make the both of them happier.

"Did it start out that way? That strongly?" Natsume finally emerged from his thoughts. He turned and faced Tanuma in the starlit darkness. The black-haired boy was also turned towards his friend and their eyes met, light and dark.

Tanuma shook his head slightly, "No – it started off as something very subtle, but…it grew pretty rapidly after that." Natsume could see a little bit of tint to Tanuma's cheeks even in the darkness. Natsume's stayed facing Tanuma but his eyes wandered off to the distance as he went back to his thoughts.

So maybe it was alright to start off small. Maybe it was possible to let his feelings evolve – maybe the recent change in their relationship, the "Otherness", was the first step. A prelude to something stronger.

Tanuma had turned back to the stars as Natsume stole another glance at his friend.

Even though Natsume felt an urgency in his realizations – a need to say something about them or maybe even act on them – there was still the issue of Tanuma and his efforts to try and keep his feelings for the blonde to himself.

Natsume still felt that it should be Tanuma who brought up his own feelings – this wasn't exactly a matter that should be thrust onto anyone – but maybe there was a way to encourage the black-haired boy into doing so…a vague thought of Tanuma's dream flickered past his mind before he was interrupted.

"Ah," Tanuma said suddenly, "A shooting star." There was an audible smile in his voice that seemed to bring Natsume back to the corporeal world.

Natsume sat up and shifted his body position so that he was sitting on his bent legs. He stared up at the sky, but knew he had been too late. "I missed it," He said quietly. He looked back down to his friend who was still lying on his back, a little smile turning the corners of his lips. "Did you make your wish yet?"

"I guess I should hurry and do that then," Tanuma laughed lightly. His eyes immediately scrunched closed.

Seeing the starlight illuminating the dips and curves of Tanuma's face stirred Natsume into movement. The blonde let the urgency of his heart and realizations take control and was suddenly leaning his head over Tanuma's. He didn't give his mind time to tell him all the reasons why this was probably a bad and insensitive idea – that could wait until morning.

Natsume lowered his head the last few inches and let his lips graze right over Tanuma's.

It lasted for barely a second, and then it was gone, but that small second was filled with all of the things Natsume wished he could flat out say: that he wanted to love Tanuma the way Tanuma loved him, that he hoped he wouldn't be the cause of anymore of Tanuma's pain, that he wished Tanuma could tell him the truth about his feelings because keeping them to himself was lonely, and countless other thoughts.

Tanuma might not have gotten all the messages through that brief instant of a kiss, but Natsume hoped that maybe some of it would get through.

Natsume heard Tanuma's sharp intake of breath the moment their lips disconnected, but as surprised as he had been, Tanuma hadn't opened his eyes. Natsume was quickly on his feet and pulling his sleeping bag back towards the tent which was still emanating loud snores.

He was feeling the aftermath now – warm cheeks, racing heartbeat, fast pulse – but he felt that these were good things. The kiss, no matter how sudden and simple it had been, had also felt good. Exciting. Pleasant. Maybe even too much so. Natsume found himself wondering if that was how Tanuma felt after having that dream.

The blonde disappeared quickly into the tent, not bothering to zip up the entrance slowly to avoid making sound. He stepped to the left of Nishimura and Kitamoto, who were lying perpendicularly to the right of the tent's opening. They looked disheveled from moving around a lot in their sleep. You'd think that between Nishimura's snores and Kitamoto's flailing limbs (as of that moment one of his fists was pushing into Nishimura's side, while a leg was lying across his friend's shins) they'd both be keeping each other awake but in reality they looked unbothered. Natsume laid his sleeping bag down beside the tent's thin wall and lay down on top of it because the night was too warm to actually sleep inside of it.

He turned onto his side and tried to listen through the loud snores for any sign of what Tanuma was doing.

About five minutes later, Natsume heard the zipper coming undone and the sounds of the black-haired boy stepping carefully inside and closing up the tent behind him. Tanuma silently settled down in the thin space between Natsume and Kitamoto. Natsume could feel the close proximity they shared due to the small dimensions of the tent, and it sent a gentle prickling feeling down his spine.

Despite the loud volume of their friend's snores and the steady sound of the crickets outside, a silence settled between Natsume and Tanuma once again – only this time, it was the usual kind. A silence that was somehow warm and comforting. One that encased only the two boys who were awake at such a late hour. Tanuma was probably wondering a lot about the small kiss and Natsume knew that he should be feeling at least a little concerned about how selfish it was of him to suddenly surprise Tanuma like that – but for the moment that was alright.

For now the worrying could wait. Natsume would have a lot of time tomorrow and onwards for worrying – about what was going to happen next, about when and how he should bring up the fact that he'd seen Tanuma's dream, about how it probably hadn't been smart to get carried away by the urgency of his thoughts and kiss Tanuma so suddenly – because for now, Natsume was just going to enjoy the surprising pleasantness of that brief kiss, knowing that neither he nor Tanuma would probably get any sleep for the rest of the night.

The two lay in stillness, neither one daring to speak even as the nightly song of the crickets faded and the stars fell from the brightening sky.

* * *

A/n: Hope you liked it - and yes I made Natsume a little more bold than he might be otherwise, but he always gives me the impression of being a do-er. More willing to put himself out there than I think Tanuma is. And plus, given the situation, I think this is something he might do...but i could be crazy haha I had fun writing this despite my thoughts that it isn't as good as the first part lol

Anywho ~ feel free to point out mistakes, spelling errors, or typos. Any and all critisism is accepted lol I'll even tolerate flames if you think their necessary.


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